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Nerdy/Geeky Things

Welcome to Third-World Translation in China

[Published July 31, 2017]

People who think that I am prejudiced against China and Chinese people should remember that more than 99.9% of my encounters with Chinese people are things like this. If members of a group that you encounter are almost universally useless pieces of shit, it inevitably affects your opinion of the next member of that group that comes along. It's called a learning process.

It’s been a while since Chinese bucket shop spammer CCJK made it through my server-based spam-catcher, but they made it through yesterday, sending a ridiculous email that embodies the essence of Third World translation brokers. And make no mistake about it, in the Japanese-to-English translation world, Chinese translation brokers are Third World.

“Nikki,” the purported sender of the e-mail I have made comments on below, is far from being a “credit to the Chinese people.” Shotgunned spam from unidentifiable entities do not warrant a personalized response, so the person purporting to be Nikki received only our autoreply, indicating that we do not deal with entities in China. This is the Nth such email to be received from this entity, some coming well after we instituted the China Embargo autoreply, which turns out to be as effective as sanctions against North Korea.

And now, the email I did not bother sending to this spammer, with the comments I did not write to the person purporting to be Nikki.

Dear Director,

How nice that you personalize your spam.

Hope this letter find you well.

Until your e-mail made it through our spam-blocking program, things were going along well.

I am Nikki from CCJK, a professional translation provider based in Asia.

How exciting. You're a professional translation provider! And what a coincidence! We’re based in Asia too!

We have a good team of translation, interpretations , DTP, transcription.

Wow, it’s really hard to build a good "team of translation," and perhaps even more difficult to get a "team of interpretations" together. Forming a "team of transcription" might be a bit easier.

You noticed! But I’ll bet you say that to all the leading translation companies.

Following are the language combinations that we are most professional with.
Source language: English/German/French/Spain, etc.
Target language: Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Malay/Indenosian/Thai/Taglog/Hindi/Arabic,etc.

Let's see. Source English, target Japanese, done at slave wages somewhere in the bowels of China (that's "Asia," right?) by people who have neither English nor Japanese as their native language."Third-language translations" from a Third-World translation broker. That sounds like a great way to "be professional." Incidentally, I've heard that "Indenosian" and "Taglog" are really difficult languages.

Let's just find the rare opportunity to make friends with each other and achieve double-win business.

Let's not. The opportunity to make friends with you is going to be rare indeed. In fact, so rare that it will not happen. So far, we have been extremely successful at avoiding becoming friends with sleazy bucket shops in China. Our success will continue.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Don't hold your breath. You will hear from me when China becomes a democracy, which might happen sometime after pigs start filing flight plans.

Nikki Email: purportednikki@ccjk.com |Mobile +86 134 NNNN MMMM |Skype purportedname@hotmail.com

The Hotmail account is a nice touch, just in case I made the crazy mistake of thinking you were substantial and trustworthy.

*CCJK Technologies Co., Ltd.* ISO 9001:2008 Certified Language and IT Services provider

Well, this is a clear demonstration of the significance of an ISO 9001 certification.

*For every hour we work, 1 CNY will be donated to help poor Children get education they can't afford.

Sorry, after this ridiculous email from a clearly incompetent non-player in the translation market, it is quite difficult to believe anything you say about charities, or anything else, for that matter. Building trust is evidently not one of your strengths.

Again, Nikki is not a credit to the Chinese people. With almost no contradictory “Chinese experiences," I will continue with my warped, prejudiced view of people doing business China.